frogs_of_war (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
frogs_of_war) wrote2012-06-12 08:52 pm
frogs_of_war) wrote2012-06-12 08:52 pm
Entry tags:
Uninterrupted: Master list
I watched a video last year where a young man talked about the way femme gay men are treated by even straight appearing gay men. They can’t help the way they are. They are not waving their hands around and speaking in a higher pitch for attention. Being avoided by straight appearing gay men just so the straight appearing guys don’t suddenly look gay by association hurts. They are the way they were born just like the straight appearing gays.
This really hit home at work a few days later. Many people were coming in to get flowers for their mothers, wives, mother-in-laws, grandmothers, sisters, and grown daughter (we sell 15% more roses for Mother’s Day than for Valentine’s Day. People tend to have only one Valentine, but many mothers in their lives). I walked up to a customer and ask if I could help him. Before he replied I knew the flowers would be for his mother not a wife. I don’t know what clued me in, but the clincher was when he spoke. His arms were held stiffly against his sides while his hand swiveled for his wrist. He was trying not to wave his hands as he spoke.
I found that incredibly sad. He should have been allowed to be what his is with no compromises.
One of the things about being a femme boy is that everyone can tell. The guy in the video was told he was gay before he even knew what that meant. They stand out. But these signals we use to tell (rightly or wrongly) that someone is gay are different in different cultures. When someone is from a different place, we don’t perceive the signals as signals. One guy appeared very gay to his family in a small town, but in the big city he appears straight. He hasn’t changed, only his location and the people around him have.
I realized that I hadn’t written any femme main characters (I have actually written an anti-femme guy much to my shame), so I knew Diemen would have to be small, femme guy and that Pavel would be thought femme among his people, but not by Americans in general. A book I read about trans children talked about some boys who, when they are allowed to live as a girl, revert back to boy after a year. No one knows why. Maybe the freedom to be themselves allows them to see that they can like pretty things and babies and housework and still be a boy. I knew I needed a character like that.
The same book said that parents, no matter how open they were tended to have a hard time with kids the switch genders all the time. I knew I needed one of those. Lastly my heart went out to the very young children who would rather die than live a lie. Suicide or attempts are a real thing among trans kids, even preschoolers.
So that is how I came up with this story.
For an Uninterrupted Date
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
This really hit home at work a few days later. Many people were coming in to get flowers for their mothers, wives, mother-in-laws, grandmothers, sisters, and grown daughter (we sell 15% more roses for Mother’s Day than for Valentine’s Day. People tend to have only one Valentine, but many mothers in their lives). I walked up to a customer and ask if I could help him. Before he replied I knew the flowers would be for his mother not a wife. I don’t know what clued me in, but the clincher was when he spoke. His arms were held stiffly against his sides while his hand swiveled for his wrist. He was trying not to wave his hands as he spoke.
I found that incredibly sad. He should have been allowed to be what his is with no compromises.
One of the things about being a femme boy is that everyone can tell. The guy in the video was told he was gay before he even knew what that meant. They stand out. But these signals we use to tell (rightly or wrongly) that someone is gay are different in different cultures. When someone is from a different place, we don’t perceive the signals as signals. One guy appeared very gay to his family in a small town, but in the big city he appears straight. He hasn’t changed, only his location and the people around him have.
I realized that I hadn’t written any femme main characters (I have actually written an anti-femme guy much to my shame), so I knew Diemen would have to be small, femme guy and that Pavel would be thought femme among his people, but not by Americans in general. A book I read about trans children talked about some boys who, when they are allowed to live as a girl, revert back to boy after a year. No one knows why. Maybe the freedom to be themselves allows them to see that they can like pretty things and babies and housework and still be a boy. I knew I needed a character like that.
The same book said that parents, no matter how open they were tended to have a hard time with kids the switch genders all the time. I knew I needed one of those. Lastly my heart went out to the very young children who would rather die than live a lie. Suicide or attempts are a real thing among trans kids, even preschoolers.
So that is how I came up with this story.
For an Uninterrupted Date
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10