A Balance of Harmonies: About JJ
May. 31st, 2013 08:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
frogs_of_warI read an article on how to work more efficiently. 90 min is as long as the brain can really take doing the same thing before it needs a break. Three 90 min blocks of work can get more done, better, than working straight through. So I thought I’d try it.
My first day was Memorial Day with my house full of people. I got the first 90 min block completed (just as I was starting to flag, so I think the numbers work) then I had other stuff to do. I tried it again on Tuesday, when I wasn’t feeling well. I got a lot done, but only managed two of the 90 min blocks. I wanted to try all three. I thought I’d use one for Harmonies, one for editing the Bluebeard and posting it, and one for reworking Gestures or working on the sequel.
My daughter leaves just before 10, so I got all ready, set a timer and got to work reading the chapter up to where I’d quit last time, but before I got a single word written my mother called, almost in tears. It was about my sister. Again. Two hours later I’d talked her down. At least I got a little writing done later.
And the kids will all be out of school for the summer soon. I may have to try this again in September. Uninterrupted minutes don’t exist when children are present, even if they are all teenagers.
Title: About JJ
Series: A Balance of Harmonies (Three)
Status: Chapter one hundred twenty-three of gobs
Genre: m/m romance, drama, city life, businessmen
Rating: R
Content: drips, coffee, and a long talk
Length: about 2,200 words
Summary: Peregrine needs to stay more than he wants to go.
Master list
Peregrine shook water off himself before he stepped back inside the shelter. He should have called for a ride. He had better change before he called Kurt to come get him. Or maybe he should call Kurt first. Would Emil have dinner ready? Peregrine’s belly was hollow.
A woman sat in Andre’s office. Peregrine ducked in to get his backpack. He hadn’t wanted to take it with him and Andre’s office was the safest place to keep things away from sticky fingers. He loved the boys, but he had no illusions about them. “Excuse me.”
“Lauren Sodhi, this is Peregrine Jones.” Andre gestured Peregrine back into the office.
Peregrine held his breath. How rude could he be without reflecting poorly on the shelter?
She stood up. “We met the other day.”
She was the lady who took JJ inside. Peregrine shook her hand. She smiled. “Are your hands always this cold?”
“Only when I’m soaked to the skin by freezing cold rain.”
She stepped back. “Oh. Sorry.”
Peregrine lifted his backpack. “Give me a moment, and I’ll be right back.”
“No, I better go.”
Peregrine held up a hand. “I really do want to talk to you about JJ. I care about the kid. He needs… He needs a lot and if you plan on leaving while I change I’ll stand here and drip all over everything. JJ is that important to me. But I think it would be more comfortable for everyone if you’d stick around and drink another cup of coffee.” Peregrine pointed to the mugs. “While I put on something dry.”
Lauren blushed. Peregrine turned his back on her. “Andre, I’ll be right back.”
The shower near the office was empty, luckily, and Peregrine warmed up and dried off before Lauren could make a run for it. He stepped back into the office. “Thanks for your patience.”
Andre passed Peregrine a steaming hot mug of coffee. “As you guessed, Lauren is here about JJ.”
Lauren nodded. “Let me start by saying that I’m sorry about how rude I was to you yesterday.”
“Don’t be.” Peregrine flicked his wrist, pushing her worries aside. “I’m glad you stepped out and injected yourself into our discussion. You had no way of knowing who we were. JJ might have needed your help. I could have been anyone.”
“JJ was very upset.”
Peregrine could believe that.
“He thinks you abandoned him.”
Peregrine sighed. “How much did he tell you? I had the choice of saving one child or saving neither. Hunter wanted to be saved.”
“And is he? Saved?”
Peregrine shrugged. “He still has his problems. He views the world through the lens of a child of the streets. Every adult is a potential predator. But he’s with a family who genuinely love him, where he’s safe and he’s allowed to be himself. Plus he sees a therapist weekly.”
She set down her mug. “You keep track of him?”
“He’s being adopted by the man who adopted my boyfriend.”
“You’re gay?”
“Yes. Keith Bonsa-Faie also takes in transgender, genderqueer, and straight kids.”
“Lesbians?” She lifted her brows and wiggled the fingers of her left hand where she wore a wedding ring.
“Not as of yet. But not for any reason I know of.”
“Lack of opportunity?”
“Maybe. He can only adopt kids that come to his attention. I think he’s in most people’s rolodex as a place for boys in trouble.”
Andre grinned. “He’s in mine.”
“I can introduce you, if you like. He and most his kids will be at my house all day tomorrow.”
“I don’t want to intrude.”
“You won’t. People will be coming and going all day. You can see how well Hunter is doing.”
“JJ worries about him.”
“Hunter worries about JJ. Did JJ talk to you about anything specific?”
She sighed. “He was vague and I didn’t want to press, but since you gave me this business card…”
“I’ve told her quite a bit about JJ, but I know you were closer to him.” Andre leaned forward.
Peregrine ran his hand through his hair. He needed to get it cut. “He’s still angry at me. I understand why.”
“JJ thinks you were forcing Hunter from him, that you didn’t want them to be together.”
JJ had seen right through him. “I’ll admit to not wanting them to spend nights in the same place, but I have no problem with them seeing each other or even hanging out.”
“JJ says they were boyfriends. I would think a gay man would be sensitive to that.”
Peregrine closed his eyes. He didn’t want to tell her everything. Hunter’s pain wasn’t really her business. He looked at her and sighed. “I am also sensitive to a younger boy doing whatever his protector asks him to even when those things aren’t good for his health or state of mind.”
Lauren frowned and leaned forward. “Are you trying to tell me JJ pimped Hunter out?”
“No.”
“Good.” Lauren leaned back.
“They both worked, as they called it, when JJ thought they needed money, even after the two came to the shelter. He took care of Hunter, watched his back, kept him from being beaten up by the monsters that preyed on them. Hunter owed him a lot. He knows that. Hunter wants, needs, control over his own body. He needs to be able to say no even to JJ.”
She looked into her mug. “I see. JJ said they were boyfriends. I thought it was mutual.” She set down her mug. “I better go.”
Peregrine held up a hand. “JJ didn’t realize. He is selfish, like all children are. He’s had a hard life and too few good examples. Would you please be one of those examples?”
She turned toward the window, but at least she didn’t stand up.
“Just be friendly to him,” Andre leaned back in his chair. “Wave at him when he walks by, talk to him if he comes in.”
“But if he… Bhamini said… I wanted to….”
“You still can.”
“But if he…”
They couldn’t lose a potential role model for a kid who needed one so badly. “Put yourself in his shoes for a moment. You live with your mother and three younger sisters and a man who beats your mother. Fighting comes naturally. You hit back. You laid into him once and he never hit you again. If your mom fought back as hard as you had, he’d stop beating her too.”
“That’s not true!”
“I know it’s not and you know it’s not, but if you’re a kid and this is all you’ve ever lived, how can it not be the truth? Maybe all adults fight, even that nice teacher at school. She missed a few days. Maybe her husband sent her to the hospital and she covered it up by saying she’d been sick. Everyone lies about it. The whole world lies.”
“That’s very cynical.”
“Imagine living a life that sleeping on the streets is an improvement. JJ and Hunter might have died that cold wet night if I hadn’t seen them, stopped, and talked JJ into letting me carry Hunter here.”
“That was good of you.”
Andre grinned. “And he wasn’t even working here yet.”
“No?”
“JJ and Hunter are why I volunteered for the position.” And it was one of the best decisions he’d ever made. “After JJ’s mother’s boyfriend sent her and one of JJ’s sisters to the hospital, JJ was in foster care, which he didn’t care for. He left, preferring the freedom of the streets. Things worked well for him. He always came up on top. He’s that kind of kid.”
He reminded Peregrine of himself.
“But then how did he end up cold and wet?”
Peregrine lifted a finger. “The question really is: But how did he end up in a shelter with three square meals a day and his own blanket?”
Lauren sighed. “I came here… I came here thinking I might see about taking JJ in, at least temporarily. Bhamini said it would be more complicated than that. I can’t see bringing a rapist into my home, even if he is just a kid.”
“Any children in your home?” Andre opened a drawer on the filing cabinet behind him.
“No. No nieces or nephews either. I’m an only and Bhamini’s family is in India, California, and Texas.”
“Perfect.”
“No, not perfect. I can’t take him in. I just couldn’t have a person like that under my roof.”
Peregrine hadn’t explained well enough. He touched her elbow. “Lauren, please. JJ did not realize that Hunter felt he could not say no. Hunter never said no. Hunter never said stop, or wait, or not tonight. JJ with the experiences he had couldn’t, and still can’t, understand why anyone would do something they didn’t want to. He does not get why anyone would work at a job they hate, attend a boring class, or put anyone’s wellbeing above their own. None of his role models did. His mother wants him to move back in with her and the man who put her little girl in the hospital.”
“How could she?”
Peregrine shrugged. “JJ needs a home where love and loyalty are present. He needs to be around strong women who won’t put up with his attitude.”
“Women?” Lauren raised an eyebrow.
“JJ tends to see men as monsters or chumps.”
“But wouldn’t exposure to men who weren’t either, be a good thing?”
“Exposure, sure, but not living in the same house.” Andre looked up from his stack of papers. “JJ idea of a chump is one who lets him reach through their fly and grab their wallet.”
Peregrine shook his head. “You too?”
Andre nodded.
“What?” Lauren frowned.
“And men JJ is around can’t freak out when JJ offers sex. A firm no and a change of subject works well.” Andre signed one of the papers he was messing with. “He’ll outgrow it. I hope.”
“Are you saying he propositions everyone?”
Peregrine shrugged. “Only men. I’m not even sure he’s gay. I know he’s attracted to women. He’s just sorting us into monsters, who hit and yell, and the one who give him money for a few minutes work. Those of us who don’t do either he’s not sure what to do with. I think. A psychologist might have a better idea.”
“So you are asking me to take into my home a rapist who doesn’t understand loyalty or love, one who thinks he’s preying on the men who are preying on him, one who will starts fights with or proposition every male guest in my home and one who children aren’t safe around.”
“No.” Andre shuffled the papers in his hand and looked straight at her. “I’m asking you to consider being a role model for a boy, a child, who is sadly lacking good examples. Your male guests’ need to repeatedly dismiss JJ as an object of desire might become annoying, but I’ve never seen him pick a fight. And children are safe around him. He just happens to be very needy.”
“But after what he did to Hunter?”
“Any child in your care who be looking to you and not JJ for food and shelter and therefore not in any position to think that JJ might stop providing them if they didn’t give him what he wanted anytime his ask.”
Peregrine opened his notebook. “Or from the other side: A friend who always let you have your way in everything and was eager to play whatever game you chose.”
Lauren sighed and stood up. “I’ll have to think about it.”
“Do.” Andre walked around his desk. “And just on the off chance you decide to take JJ into your home, let me explain what that would mean to you and… Bhamini? Legally, financially, etc., so you can consider the whole picture. And I’m always here to answer questions.”
Andre was. Weekends, holidays, evenings.
Kurt tapped on the doorframe. Peregrine sent him a brilliant smile and put the finishing touches on the invitation. He tore it out and stood up. “Lauren, this is Kurt Styles. One of my boyfriends.”
“One?”
Kurt grinned and held out his hand. “We’re a triple. Like a couple, but with three.”
“Oh.”
“Kurt, Lauren is interested in taken JJ in. I invited her to the housewarming.” He held out the just completed invitation. “Lauren, I hope to see you and your wife tomorrow.”
Lauren pulled her hand away. “We couldn’t possible intrude.”
Kurt put his hand on Peregrine’s back. “Zawadzki’s and Ezra’s parents invited themselves. And Zawadzki’s Uncle Barry.”
“Good. I have a few questions for him. And a few more won’t make any difference. We are hoping JJ comes, so he can see that Hunter is doing well.”
Lauren took the invitation. “I’ll talk to Bhamini.”
That was all he could ask. “Thanks.” He picked up his backpack. “Kurt, take me home and feed me.”
Kurt laughed. “Dinner will be ready when we get home.”
That had to be the nicest thing Peregrine had heard all day.
My first day was Memorial Day with my house full of people. I got the first 90 min block completed (just as I was starting to flag, so I think the numbers work) then I had other stuff to do. I tried it again on Tuesday, when I wasn’t feeling well. I got a lot done, but only managed two of the 90 min blocks. I wanted to try all three. I thought I’d use one for Harmonies, one for editing the Bluebeard and posting it, and one for reworking Gestures or working on the sequel.
My daughter leaves just before 10, so I got all ready, set a timer and got to work reading the chapter up to where I’d quit last time, but before I got a single word written my mother called, almost in tears. It was about my sister. Again. Two hours later I’d talked her down. At least I got a little writing done later.
And the kids will all be out of school for the summer soon. I may have to try this again in September. Uninterrupted minutes don’t exist when children are present, even if they are all teenagers.
Title: About JJ
Series: A Balance of Harmonies (Three)
Status: Chapter one hundred twenty-three of gobs
Genre: m/m romance, drama, city life, businessmen
Rating: R
Content: drips, coffee, and a long talk
Length: about 2,200 words
Summary: Peregrine needs to stay more than he wants to go.
Master list
Peregrine shook water off himself before he stepped back inside the shelter. He should have called for a ride. He had better change before he called Kurt to come get him. Or maybe he should call Kurt first. Would Emil have dinner ready? Peregrine’s belly was hollow.
A woman sat in Andre’s office. Peregrine ducked in to get his backpack. He hadn’t wanted to take it with him and Andre’s office was the safest place to keep things away from sticky fingers. He loved the boys, but he had no illusions about them. “Excuse me.”
“Lauren Sodhi, this is Peregrine Jones.” Andre gestured Peregrine back into the office.
Peregrine held his breath. How rude could he be without reflecting poorly on the shelter?
She stood up. “We met the other day.”
She was the lady who took JJ inside. Peregrine shook her hand. She smiled. “Are your hands always this cold?”
“Only when I’m soaked to the skin by freezing cold rain.”
She stepped back. “Oh. Sorry.”
Peregrine lifted his backpack. “Give me a moment, and I’ll be right back.”
“No, I better go.”
Peregrine held up a hand. “I really do want to talk to you about JJ. I care about the kid. He needs… He needs a lot and if you plan on leaving while I change I’ll stand here and drip all over everything. JJ is that important to me. But I think it would be more comfortable for everyone if you’d stick around and drink another cup of coffee.” Peregrine pointed to the mugs. “While I put on something dry.”
Lauren blushed. Peregrine turned his back on her. “Andre, I’ll be right back.”
The shower near the office was empty, luckily, and Peregrine warmed up and dried off before Lauren could make a run for it. He stepped back into the office. “Thanks for your patience.”
Andre passed Peregrine a steaming hot mug of coffee. “As you guessed, Lauren is here about JJ.”
Lauren nodded. “Let me start by saying that I’m sorry about how rude I was to you yesterday.”
“Don’t be.” Peregrine flicked his wrist, pushing her worries aside. “I’m glad you stepped out and injected yourself into our discussion. You had no way of knowing who we were. JJ might have needed your help. I could have been anyone.”
“JJ was very upset.”
Peregrine could believe that.
“He thinks you abandoned him.”
Peregrine sighed. “How much did he tell you? I had the choice of saving one child or saving neither. Hunter wanted to be saved.”
“And is he? Saved?”
Peregrine shrugged. “He still has his problems. He views the world through the lens of a child of the streets. Every adult is a potential predator. But he’s with a family who genuinely love him, where he’s safe and he’s allowed to be himself. Plus he sees a therapist weekly.”
She set down her mug. “You keep track of him?”
“He’s being adopted by the man who adopted my boyfriend.”
“You’re gay?”
“Yes. Keith Bonsa-Faie also takes in transgender, genderqueer, and straight kids.”
“Lesbians?” She lifted her brows and wiggled the fingers of her left hand where she wore a wedding ring.
“Not as of yet. But not for any reason I know of.”
“Lack of opportunity?”
“Maybe. He can only adopt kids that come to his attention. I think he’s in most people’s rolodex as a place for boys in trouble.”
Andre grinned. “He’s in mine.”
“I can introduce you, if you like. He and most his kids will be at my house all day tomorrow.”
“I don’t want to intrude.”
“You won’t. People will be coming and going all day. You can see how well Hunter is doing.”
“JJ worries about him.”
“Hunter worries about JJ. Did JJ talk to you about anything specific?”
She sighed. “He was vague and I didn’t want to press, but since you gave me this business card…”
“I’ve told her quite a bit about JJ, but I know you were closer to him.” Andre leaned forward.
Peregrine ran his hand through his hair. He needed to get it cut. “He’s still angry at me. I understand why.”
“JJ thinks you were forcing Hunter from him, that you didn’t want them to be together.”
JJ had seen right through him. “I’ll admit to not wanting them to spend nights in the same place, but I have no problem with them seeing each other or even hanging out.”
“JJ says they were boyfriends. I would think a gay man would be sensitive to that.”
Peregrine closed his eyes. He didn’t want to tell her everything. Hunter’s pain wasn’t really her business. He looked at her and sighed. “I am also sensitive to a younger boy doing whatever his protector asks him to even when those things aren’t good for his health or state of mind.”
Lauren frowned and leaned forward. “Are you trying to tell me JJ pimped Hunter out?”
“No.”
“Good.” Lauren leaned back.
“They both worked, as they called it, when JJ thought they needed money, even after the two came to the shelter. He took care of Hunter, watched his back, kept him from being beaten up by the monsters that preyed on them. Hunter owed him a lot. He knows that. Hunter wants, needs, control over his own body. He needs to be able to say no even to JJ.”
She looked into her mug. “I see. JJ said they were boyfriends. I thought it was mutual.” She set down her mug. “I better go.”
Peregrine held up a hand. “JJ didn’t realize. He is selfish, like all children are. He’s had a hard life and too few good examples. Would you please be one of those examples?”
She turned toward the window, but at least she didn’t stand up.
“Just be friendly to him,” Andre leaned back in his chair. “Wave at him when he walks by, talk to him if he comes in.”
“But if he… Bhamini said… I wanted to….”
“You still can.”
“But if he…”
They couldn’t lose a potential role model for a kid who needed one so badly. “Put yourself in his shoes for a moment. You live with your mother and three younger sisters and a man who beats your mother. Fighting comes naturally. You hit back. You laid into him once and he never hit you again. If your mom fought back as hard as you had, he’d stop beating her too.”
“That’s not true!”
“I know it’s not and you know it’s not, but if you’re a kid and this is all you’ve ever lived, how can it not be the truth? Maybe all adults fight, even that nice teacher at school. She missed a few days. Maybe her husband sent her to the hospital and she covered it up by saying she’d been sick. Everyone lies about it. The whole world lies.”
“That’s very cynical.”
“Imagine living a life that sleeping on the streets is an improvement. JJ and Hunter might have died that cold wet night if I hadn’t seen them, stopped, and talked JJ into letting me carry Hunter here.”
“That was good of you.”
Andre grinned. “And he wasn’t even working here yet.”
“No?”
“JJ and Hunter are why I volunteered for the position.” And it was one of the best decisions he’d ever made. “After JJ’s mother’s boyfriend sent her and one of JJ’s sisters to the hospital, JJ was in foster care, which he didn’t care for. He left, preferring the freedom of the streets. Things worked well for him. He always came up on top. He’s that kind of kid.”
He reminded Peregrine of himself.
“But then how did he end up cold and wet?”
Peregrine lifted a finger. “The question really is: But how did he end up in a shelter with three square meals a day and his own blanket?”
Lauren sighed. “I came here… I came here thinking I might see about taking JJ in, at least temporarily. Bhamini said it would be more complicated than that. I can’t see bringing a rapist into my home, even if he is just a kid.”
“Any children in your home?” Andre opened a drawer on the filing cabinet behind him.
“No. No nieces or nephews either. I’m an only and Bhamini’s family is in India, California, and Texas.”
“Perfect.”
“No, not perfect. I can’t take him in. I just couldn’t have a person like that under my roof.”
Peregrine hadn’t explained well enough. He touched her elbow. “Lauren, please. JJ did not realize that Hunter felt he could not say no. Hunter never said no. Hunter never said stop, or wait, or not tonight. JJ with the experiences he had couldn’t, and still can’t, understand why anyone would do something they didn’t want to. He does not get why anyone would work at a job they hate, attend a boring class, or put anyone’s wellbeing above their own. None of his role models did. His mother wants him to move back in with her and the man who put her little girl in the hospital.”
“How could she?”
Peregrine shrugged. “JJ needs a home where love and loyalty are present. He needs to be around strong women who won’t put up with his attitude.”
“Women?” Lauren raised an eyebrow.
“JJ tends to see men as monsters or chumps.”
“But wouldn’t exposure to men who weren’t either, be a good thing?”
“Exposure, sure, but not living in the same house.” Andre looked up from his stack of papers. “JJ idea of a chump is one who lets him reach through their fly and grab their wallet.”
Peregrine shook his head. “You too?”
Andre nodded.
“What?” Lauren frowned.
“And men JJ is around can’t freak out when JJ offers sex. A firm no and a change of subject works well.” Andre signed one of the papers he was messing with. “He’ll outgrow it. I hope.”
“Are you saying he propositions everyone?”
Peregrine shrugged. “Only men. I’m not even sure he’s gay. I know he’s attracted to women. He’s just sorting us into monsters, who hit and yell, and the one who give him money for a few minutes work. Those of us who don’t do either he’s not sure what to do with. I think. A psychologist might have a better idea.”
“So you are asking me to take into my home a rapist who doesn’t understand loyalty or love, one who thinks he’s preying on the men who are preying on him, one who will starts fights with or proposition every male guest in my home and one who children aren’t safe around.”
“No.” Andre shuffled the papers in his hand and looked straight at her. “I’m asking you to consider being a role model for a boy, a child, who is sadly lacking good examples. Your male guests’ need to repeatedly dismiss JJ as an object of desire might become annoying, but I’ve never seen him pick a fight. And children are safe around him. He just happens to be very needy.”
“But after what he did to Hunter?”
“Any child in your care who be looking to you and not JJ for food and shelter and therefore not in any position to think that JJ might stop providing them if they didn’t give him what he wanted anytime his ask.”
Peregrine opened his notebook. “Or from the other side: A friend who always let you have your way in everything and was eager to play whatever game you chose.”
Lauren sighed and stood up. “I’ll have to think about it.”
“Do.” Andre walked around his desk. “And just on the off chance you decide to take JJ into your home, let me explain what that would mean to you and… Bhamini? Legally, financially, etc., so you can consider the whole picture. And I’m always here to answer questions.”
Andre was. Weekends, holidays, evenings.
Kurt tapped on the doorframe. Peregrine sent him a brilliant smile and put the finishing touches on the invitation. He tore it out and stood up. “Lauren, this is Kurt Styles. One of my boyfriends.”
“One?”
Kurt grinned and held out his hand. “We’re a triple. Like a couple, but with three.”
“Oh.”
“Kurt, Lauren is interested in taken JJ in. I invited her to the housewarming.” He held out the just completed invitation. “Lauren, I hope to see you and your wife tomorrow.”
Lauren pulled her hand away. “We couldn’t possible intrude.”
Kurt put his hand on Peregrine’s back. “Zawadzki’s and Ezra’s parents invited themselves. And Zawadzki’s Uncle Barry.”
“Good. I have a few questions for him. And a few more won’t make any difference. We are hoping JJ comes, so he can see that Hunter is doing well.”
Lauren took the invitation. “I’ll talk to Bhamini.”
That was all he could ask. “Thanks.” He picked up his backpack. “Kurt, take me home and feed me.”
Kurt laughed. “Dinner will be ready when we get home.”
That had to be the nicest thing Peregrine had heard all day.
