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I just can't believe...
Aug. 29th, 2012 12:06 pm I have a story that's almost completely edited, five interesting web pages to share, another chapter of Harmonies that only needs a reread before it's posted... and company for the week, so I don't have time to do any of this.
But I did have to share my incredulity. I just found out that my brother-in-law thinks that all wives take the opinions of their husbands after they get married, so he was very surprised that my mother, married 40+ years, has different opinions than my dad. He says that all the women in that he knows are like this. I think he is mistaken. I doubt his dad's new wife would change her opinion for anyone. I don't know what he's thinking. But this makes me feel even sorrier for my sister.
And I wonder if he thinks my opinion aligns mostly with my husband's because we are married, rather that over these last two decade we came to the same conclusions through very different means. Take gay rights: he met and worked with gay people and like getting to know anyone, they became people he cared about, whereas I read manga, some with very close male leads, the kind that makes you want to yell 'just kiss him already!' but you know they never will. X, I believe, was my finally turning point. I tossed, figuratively, down the volume I was reading and put a hold on Boys Love instead. Not so messed up with happier endings. And I felt that I couldn't want the two men on the page to live happily ever after if I wasn't willing to give people the same rights in real life. Or the right to be happy for now or to hook up when they want to (whether they are gay, straight, or something else). What works for me isn't right for everyone. And so when people I loved came out to me later, I didn't bat an eye.
So although I now agree with my husband's opinion, I didn't toss out the homophobia I was raised with because he had his. And I'd be upset if someone thought I did. I am female. I have a mind of my own.
But I did have to share my incredulity. I just found out that my brother-in-law thinks that all wives take the opinions of their husbands after they get married, so he was very surprised that my mother, married 40+ years, has different opinions than my dad. He says that all the women in that he knows are like this. I think he is mistaken. I doubt his dad's new wife would change her opinion for anyone. I don't know what he's thinking. But this makes me feel even sorrier for my sister.
And I wonder if he thinks my opinion aligns mostly with my husband's because we are married, rather that over these last two decade we came to the same conclusions through very different means. Take gay rights: he met and worked with gay people and like getting to know anyone, they became people he cared about, whereas I read manga, some with very close male leads, the kind that makes you want to yell 'just kiss him already!' but you know they never will. X, I believe, was my finally turning point. I tossed, figuratively, down the volume I was reading and put a hold on Boys Love instead. Not so messed up with happier endings. And I felt that I couldn't want the two men on the page to live happily ever after if I wasn't willing to give people the same rights in real life. Or the right to be happy for now or to hook up when they want to (whether they are gay, straight, or something else). What works for me isn't right for everyone. And so when people I loved came out to me later, I didn't bat an eye.
So although I now agree with my husband's opinion, I didn't toss out the homophobia I was raised with because he had his. And I'd be upset if someone thought I did. I am female. I have a mind of my own.
