A Balance of Harmonies: Finite
Aug. 11th, 2012 05:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
A baby’s smile is enough to make a day brighter. Especially if the baby is someone else’s and you don’t have to worry about the crying parts. I love happy babies at work. They smile wide or shyly and many say hi back even if they don’t know what it means yet.
But really if your kid is distressed or grouchy leave then at home. Today I could follow a woman’s progress through the store by the sound of her wailing child. All the way… though the store… louder as she came up an aisle… quieting as she went down the next… extremely loud in the check stand… and as they left the little boy was still crying that he wanted to walk…
Title: Finite
Series: A Balance of Harmonies (Three)
Status: Chapter eighty-two of maybe a hundred
Genre: m/m romance, drama, city life, businessmen
Rating: R
Content: family, plans, rolling over, dresses, being out, standing up and sitting down, Jess, embarrassment, food, a loud conversation, muffins, Greg, one in a billion, dyed black hair, practicality, the truth, more plans
Length: about 3,000 words
Summary: Peregrine tries not to hurt anyone’s feelings. Emil sits (and stands) through church. Kurt has an idea.
Master list
Peregrine opened his parents’ front door and walked inside. “How is everyone this morning?”
“We are on our way to church,” Tinúviel spun and showed off her dress.
Arwen brightened. “Are you were coming to church with us?”
Peregrine touched Arwen’s shoulder. “Sorry, kiddo.”
He turned to Tinúviel to compliment her good taste in apparel, but her attention had already turned to Kurt. He shrugged.
“What makes you think Peregrine wants to go to church?” Dad asked from his wheelchair.
“He said he would.”
“I said I might. I go and so does Kurt, but Emil doesn’t and I don’t want to force him.”
“No one worried about forcing me.” Glimi glare would have worked better if he wasn’t blinking so much. Of course the red eyes helped.
“If you’d slept,” Dad said, “you wouldn’t be half dead right now. Buck up.”
“Emil,” begged Arwen, “are you sure you don’t want to go?”
Emil shrugged. “If it’s a family thing…”
Emil was going to do something he hated so no one would feel left out. Peregrine touched his arm. “We don’t have to.”
Arwen showed off her pleading eyes. Peregrine rolled his. And Emil rolled over for the family. How many times had Emil rolled over for Peregrine, but Peregrine was too blind to see?
“No, I’ll go with you next week. Emil can go back up to visit Kurt.”
“Or,” Arwen bounced. “Kurt can come back down.”
“No.”
Emil put his hand on Peregrine’s shoulder. “It’s all right.”
But was it?
“Mrs. Draves will be there.” Mom carried Tinúviel shoes, Théoden’s jacket, and Dad’s tie into the living room. “She said her grandson is down for the weekend.”
“If Greg is going,” Dad crossed his arms, “I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.” Mom knotted Dad’s tie. “This is the first week you’ve felt well enough and I’m tired of explaining that you are doing well, but not well enough for church.”
“Are Éowen and Harrison coming?” Maybe Peregrine could send Emil over there and he wouldn’t feel left out.
“Yes, Éowen teaches a Sunday School class and Harrison is an usher. Besides this week is the potluck. I’m bringing pasta salad and Éowen is bringing cookies.”
“So we’ll have at least two things we will eat.” Dad waved his hand. “Lead on.”
Théoden attempted to push Dad out the door. Kurt gave him a hand. Emil helped Mom with the last minutes stuff. Peregrine picked up his baby sister and asked her about her dress. She enthused over it until she had to get in the van. Although the dress wasn’t new, it was new to her and the family, and was of much more recent vintage than clothes passed down from Meri and Arwen. Peregrine should see if Autumn could sew her something. Or even if Olivia had anything to hand down. Mom wouldn’t mind hand-me-down dresses that originally cost more than they could afford. Olivia’s old stuff looked like everyone else’s new. She took care of her clothes.
The church was on the same site, but it had been built on since Peregrine had last been there. Everything seemed smaller although it shouldn’t have. He was only two inches taller than he’d been at eighteen.
Everyone looked smaller, and older, except the people he didn’t recognize. So many children. Many looked like people he’d known. He saw cousins, or people that were probably cousins. As they entered the sanctuary the people who had just been staring at them came up to talk. They all knew who Peregrine was of course. Dad had Emil with him and Éowen had roped Kurt into helping in her class, so Peregrine called the men his roommates. They really should have talked about it with his parents. He didn’t need to be out to everyone if it was going to hurt his mother’s standing in the community.
--
Emil tried not to sigh too loudly. He wished he’d been able to skip out on the church service like Kurt had, although he wasn’t sure about being surrounded by four year olds, but at least Harrison had offered him a seat at the sound board when the other usher rearranged chairs so John could sit in the front. Wouldn’t it just have been easier for everyone not to stand up all the time? How was standing up better for singing? Do those few inches make a difference to God?
But at least this church didn’t make people kneel too. A hundred women in fancy dresses and nylons and high heel standing and sitting and kneeling and standing and kneeling was not something Emil wanted to experience again. All this religion stuff didn’t make any sense. But many people who believed it were nice people even if deluded. Harrison was.
People rose from their chairs and filed out or stood and talked. Emil stood up. Maybe people made excuses for moving around to keep from cramping up during the long sermons. Jess wound her way through the crowd. She was in a purple dress, which might have been the first really feminine thing he’s ever seen her with a modest neck line. She pulled him into a hug. “I’m so glad to see you. Strangers are all right in their place, but after three days I need to see a face I recognize that isn’t grouchy pants.”
Harrison raised his eyebrows. Emil introduced Jess as Greg’s girlfriend. Harrison grinned and held out his hand. “Harrison McKendrick. I’ve heard a lot about you, but I think this is the first time we’ve met. I’m Peregrine’s sister’s husband.”
“And Peregrine best friend and the man who stole Peregrine from Greg, etcetera etcetera. You are the bane of my man’s existence.”
Harrison put his hand to his chest and bowed. “I live to serve.”
Jess smiled. “I like you. I don’t know why, but I like everyone he hates — you, Emil, Kurt — while at the same time loving him.” She held up her hand as if she thought Emil was going to interrupt her. “Greg is really very sweet.”
Emil would believe that when he saw it. Harrison nodded. “He was as a kid, but then his family imploded and he got selfish like the rest of us. I’m glad that you are making him happy.”
“No one can make Greg happy.”
They turned and looked at him. He’d said that out loud? He blushed and covered his mouth. “Sorry.”
A man drew Harrison’s attention and Greg dragged himself away from Peregrine long enough to collect his girlfriend. He scowled at Emil, but then what else was new?
--
Kurt filled his plate to bursting. This was his second refill and many people had begged him to eat the last of what they brought so they could take their bowls home empty. Kurt did his best to accommodate them. Peregrine sat in a group of small children and drew sketches of them. He looked like one of those ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me’ pictures but with a tattooed and pierced Jesus instead of a bearded one.
Tinúviel got up from beside Peregrine and sat by Kurt. “When you go home, will you forget me?”
“Will you write to me?”
Tinúviel smiled. “I will draw you pictures. They won’t be like Peregrine’s.”
“How won’t they be?”
“I draw with crayons. I got a new set for school.”
“You are right. I’ve never seen Peregrine use crayons. If you send me a picture, I will hang it up in my office.”
“Good.”
A women down the table frowned. She got up and went over to where Peregrine’s mother was talking to some other women. Kurt tired to ignore their conversation, but the lady wasn’t very quiet as she told Peregrine’s mother that Kurt was being too friendly with Tinúviel.
“Too friendly? How can he be too friendly?”
The women had a very horrible take of Kurt’s perfectly innocent conversation. Peregrine’s mother laughed. “First Kurt is gay like Peregrine is and second he is family and third if Peregrine and Emil can’t keep him busy in the bedroom then something isn’t right with the world.”
“But—”
“And to assume without any proof that a man is being ‘overfriendly’ is one reason men aren’t allowed to express themselves. Enough children are being abused, we don’t need to start seeing what isn’t there.”
“I thought,” said one of the women. “I heard Peregrine say they were his roommates.”
“That’s just a codeword,” said a forth.
That lady probably saw gay everywhere.
“They do live together,” said Peregrine’s mom, “and know each other in the biblical sense, according to the sheets they dirtied. I’m not blind. But I don’t see what the big deal is.”
“You don’t?”
“They can’t get married here or in their home state, what difference does it make how many of them there are?”
“But the bible says—”
“The bible says that Abraham had two wives and Jacob had five and David had at least eight and Solomon had hundreds.”
“Polygamy is wrong.”
“But like I said, they aren’t married.”
“A bishop, according to Paul, should be a man of just one wife, so early Christians might have had more.” Kurt liked this woman already. Was she one who had spoken earlier? He didn’t want to turn around and look.
“One wife is best.”
“But,” said Peregrine’s mother, “he isn’t a bishop in his church.”
“What church has bishops anyway?”
“That just means leader.”
“Well he isn’t a leader either.”
A woman laughed. “Imagine Peregrine leading anything that didn’t end in trouble.”
“I hear he is a famous painter.”
“Probably infamous.”
“Infamy pays better.”
“So Peregrine is doing his own thing and living a happy, fulfilled life while ignoring conventions. What’s new? Did you try one of Stella’s muffins?”
The conversation turned to muffin recipes and whether wheat germ or oat bran was better. Kurt agreed with the lady who liked the ones that tasted like cupcakes. Kurt threw his plate away. Peregrine’s mom grinned at him. She hadn’t had to stand up for him, but she had. He was one of her children and she would always be in his corner.
--
Peregrine stood up and stretched. Had everything been put away? He could stand a bottle of ice cold water right about now.
“Peregrine.” Greg.
“I heard you were coming down. How is your grandmother?”
“She’s fine.”
“And Jess?”
“Fine as well.”
“Good, good. I need to go find my men.” Maybe Emil knew where the ice water was. The freezer didn’t even have empty ice cube trays in it.
“Peregrine,” Greg pushed the freezer door closed, “that’s who I want to talk to you about.”
Peregrine sighed internally. What was it with this guy? Couldn’t he understand the word no? Maybe Peregrine was being too nice. He sighed aloud. “What is it this time?”
“This time? How can you say that?”
Peregrine decided not to roll his eyes. Antagonizing Greg would make this conversation harder on everyone. “You wanted to say?”
“Peregrine.”
Peregrine already knew his name.
Jess glance in the doorway. Peregrine called her over. “Greg is trying to tell me something, but he can’t seem to get the words out. Do you know what he means?”
“He’s jealous that your men love you and each other so much.”
“Jess, that’s not what I mean at all.”
“Then spit it out.” She took his hand and gazed at him as if he were the best person in the world. Peregrine really admired her. He couldn’t take hours in Greg’s company every day and Greg really did need someone to love him, but he wasn’t going to guilt Peregrine into agreeing that that person was Peregrine.
“I… Peregrine, I… I’ve always loved you and when I see you with… with them…”
This had to be as agonizing to say to as to listen. “Greg, man, you are my friend. That is all you have ever been. Harrison is much closer to being an almost-boyfriend than you are. Yes, I feel sorry for you and what happened to your family, but no, relationships built on pity don’t last.”
“That’s not what I’m asking for!”
Peregrine bit his upper lip and let it slide out from between his teeth. “Then what are you asking for? You have a wonderful woman in Jess here. She one in a million, maybe one in a billion, but that means that there are six other people on God’s green earth that could love you just as well. I’m just not one of them.”
Jess grinned. “I like to think of myself as one in ten billion. Three more billion people would have to be born before anyone as good as me could even think of appearing.”
“Peregrine, you’ve changed.”
“Of course I’ve changed. I’ve grown. I am finally who I was meant to be. Jess, so you’ve never considered adding to you happy little home?”
“Children? No.” Jess laughed.
“Another lover. Male, probably, young definitely. Maybe one of those bartenders you both flirt with?”
Jess smiled. She ran her fingers through Greg’s hair. “You think?”
“I do.”
Greg shook his head. “What are you talking about?”
Jess tucked her arm in his. “Peregrine is matchmaking. What do you think about inviting a boy to our bed?”
“What?”
“Legal, of course. Eighteen or maybe nineteen. Twenty-one if we have to. Maybe we could try out several and find one we like. He would have to adore you as much as I do.” Jess stepped away and took Greg with her. “Do you have a hair color preference? I’m partial to dyed black hair myself. You never know what’s underneath. It’s like a surprise.”
She winked at Peregrine. Had she really never considered finding a man to satisfy Greg in ways he thought only Peregrine could? She didn’t seem adverse to the idea. But Emil walked into the kitchen and grinned and no one else mattered.
--
Emil stretched out on the bed beside Kurt. They had to leave for the airport in an hour. Emil was enjoying the time they had. Peregrine groaned. “I want to go home.”
“Then come home.” Kurt was always so practical.
“But my parents need me.”
“Not all the time. Since we are spending money on airfare every week anyway, I don’t see why you can’t just visit them for a few days and then come home.”
Emil liked that idea. He wanted both men in his bed.
“Emil, darling,” Peregrine lifted a strand of Emil hair off his face. “What do you think?”
“What you really think,” Kurt said, “not what you think he wants to hear.”
“Yes, that. I want you to tell me when you don’t like something.”
As if it were that easy. “The truth?” Emil sighed. “I want you home. I want all of us home. I want to sleep on my own bed that smells like you and me and Kurt and no one else.”
Peregrine nodded. “I agree.”
“But our house isn’t done yet and someone will have to be in charge. I can do that while Kurt is at work and you spend several days a week down here. I just want us to live at home, even if that home is full of dry wall dust and workmen.”
“You would be the best. I’m no good with workmen. And if Jad and Markus can keep Sam around, Mom has people nearby in case of emergency. She calls us boys before she calls Éowen.”
“That probably good for Éowen with her ever-growing family.” Emil had discussed baby names with Harrison. This next one would be either Alatáriel or Celebrían. Emil hoped they stopped having kids before they got to the really weird elf names.
“So that’s settled,” Kurt pulled them both against him. “We’ll call the young architects tomorrow morning. Or maybe tonight. When would we be more likely to get them to answer the phone?”
“I’ll deal with them and call you to set up an appointment. We have to start by cutting a door way between the condos. I don’t want to have to walk in the hall to go between rooms.”
“Keith knows some good contractors.”
“Good. Should we redo the new side first and move into it?”
“As much as I’d like our bedroom and bath, maybe we should live in Rowe’s side and redo the living space first, so we’d have a kitchen.”
“Maybe the contractors would know best.”
“Probably.”
Kurt and Peregrine discussed their condo and what they wanted and didn’t want. Emil piped up when he has an opinion, but mostly he was content to lie in his lovers’ arms. They would be leaving each other, but the time apart would be finite. Their future together was in sight. Emil could hardly wait.
But really if your kid is distressed or grouchy leave then at home. Today I could follow a woman’s progress through the store by the sound of her wailing child. All the way… though the store… louder as she came up an aisle… quieting as she went down the next… extremely loud in the check stand… and as they left the little boy was still crying that he wanted to walk…
Title: Finite
Series: A Balance of Harmonies (Three)
Status: Chapter eighty-two of maybe a hundred
Genre: m/m romance, drama, city life, businessmen
Rating: R
Content: family, plans, rolling over, dresses, being out, standing up and sitting down, Jess, embarrassment, food, a loud conversation, muffins, Greg, one in a billion, dyed black hair, practicality, the truth, more plans
Length: about 3,000 words
Summary: Peregrine tries not to hurt anyone’s feelings. Emil sits (and stands) through church. Kurt has an idea.
Master list
Peregrine opened his parents’ front door and walked inside. “How is everyone this morning?”
“We are on our way to church,” Tinúviel spun and showed off her dress.
Arwen brightened. “Are you were coming to church with us?”
Peregrine touched Arwen’s shoulder. “Sorry, kiddo.”
He turned to Tinúviel to compliment her good taste in apparel, but her attention had already turned to Kurt. He shrugged.
“What makes you think Peregrine wants to go to church?” Dad asked from his wheelchair.
“He said he would.”
“I said I might. I go and so does Kurt, but Emil doesn’t and I don’t want to force him.”
“No one worried about forcing me.” Glimi glare would have worked better if he wasn’t blinking so much. Of course the red eyes helped.
“If you’d slept,” Dad said, “you wouldn’t be half dead right now. Buck up.”
“Emil,” begged Arwen, “are you sure you don’t want to go?”
Emil shrugged. “If it’s a family thing…”
Emil was going to do something he hated so no one would feel left out. Peregrine touched his arm. “We don’t have to.”
Arwen showed off her pleading eyes. Peregrine rolled his. And Emil rolled over for the family. How many times had Emil rolled over for Peregrine, but Peregrine was too blind to see?
“No, I’ll go with you next week. Emil can go back up to visit Kurt.”
“Or,” Arwen bounced. “Kurt can come back down.”
“No.”
Emil put his hand on Peregrine’s shoulder. “It’s all right.”
But was it?
“Mrs. Draves will be there.” Mom carried Tinúviel shoes, Théoden’s jacket, and Dad’s tie into the living room. “She said her grandson is down for the weekend.”
“If Greg is going,” Dad crossed his arms, “I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.” Mom knotted Dad’s tie. “This is the first week you’ve felt well enough and I’m tired of explaining that you are doing well, but not well enough for church.”
“Are Éowen and Harrison coming?” Maybe Peregrine could send Emil over there and he wouldn’t feel left out.
“Yes, Éowen teaches a Sunday School class and Harrison is an usher. Besides this week is the potluck. I’m bringing pasta salad and Éowen is bringing cookies.”
“So we’ll have at least two things we will eat.” Dad waved his hand. “Lead on.”
Théoden attempted to push Dad out the door. Kurt gave him a hand. Emil helped Mom with the last minutes stuff. Peregrine picked up his baby sister and asked her about her dress. She enthused over it until she had to get in the van. Although the dress wasn’t new, it was new to her and the family, and was of much more recent vintage than clothes passed down from Meri and Arwen. Peregrine should see if Autumn could sew her something. Or even if Olivia had anything to hand down. Mom wouldn’t mind hand-me-down dresses that originally cost more than they could afford. Olivia’s old stuff looked like everyone else’s new. She took care of her clothes.
The church was on the same site, but it had been built on since Peregrine had last been there. Everything seemed smaller although it shouldn’t have. He was only two inches taller than he’d been at eighteen.
Everyone looked smaller, and older, except the people he didn’t recognize. So many children. Many looked like people he’d known. He saw cousins, or people that were probably cousins. As they entered the sanctuary the people who had just been staring at them came up to talk. They all knew who Peregrine was of course. Dad had Emil with him and Éowen had roped Kurt into helping in her class, so Peregrine called the men his roommates. They really should have talked about it with his parents. He didn’t need to be out to everyone if it was going to hurt his mother’s standing in the community.
--
Emil tried not to sigh too loudly. He wished he’d been able to skip out on the church service like Kurt had, although he wasn’t sure about being surrounded by four year olds, but at least Harrison had offered him a seat at the sound board when the other usher rearranged chairs so John could sit in the front. Wouldn’t it just have been easier for everyone not to stand up all the time? How was standing up better for singing? Do those few inches make a difference to God?
But at least this church didn’t make people kneel too. A hundred women in fancy dresses and nylons and high heel standing and sitting and kneeling and standing and kneeling was not something Emil wanted to experience again. All this religion stuff didn’t make any sense. But many people who believed it were nice people even if deluded. Harrison was.
People rose from their chairs and filed out or stood and talked. Emil stood up. Maybe people made excuses for moving around to keep from cramping up during the long sermons. Jess wound her way through the crowd. She was in a purple dress, which might have been the first really feminine thing he’s ever seen her with a modest neck line. She pulled him into a hug. “I’m so glad to see you. Strangers are all right in their place, but after three days I need to see a face I recognize that isn’t grouchy pants.”
Harrison raised his eyebrows. Emil introduced Jess as Greg’s girlfriend. Harrison grinned and held out his hand. “Harrison McKendrick. I’ve heard a lot about you, but I think this is the first time we’ve met. I’m Peregrine’s sister’s husband.”
“And Peregrine best friend and the man who stole Peregrine from Greg, etcetera etcetera. You are the bane of my man’s existence.”
Harrison put his hand to his chest and bowed. “I live to serve.”
Jess smiled. “I like you. I don’t know why, but I like everyone he hates — you, Emil, Kurt — while at the same time loving him.” She held up her hand as if she thought Emil was going to interrupt her. “Greg is really very sweet.”
Emil would believe that when he saw it. Harrison nodded. “He was as a kid, but then his family imploded and he got selfish like the rest of us. I’m glad that you are making him happy.”
“No one can make Greg happy.”
They turned and looked at him. He’d said that out loud? He blushed and covered his mouth. “Sorry.”
A man drew Harrison’s attention and Greg dragged himself away from Peregrine long enough to collect his girlfriend. He scowled at Emil, but then what else was new?
--
Kurt filled his plate to bursting. This was his second refill and many people had begged him to eat the last of what they brought so they could take their bowls home empty. Kurt did his best to accommodate them. Peregrine sat in a group of small children and drew sketches of them. He looked like one of those ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me’ pictures but with a tattooed and pierced Jesus instead of a bearded one.
Tinúviel got up from beside Peregrine and sat by Kurt. “When you go home, will you forget me?”
“Will you write to me?”
Tinúviel smiled. “I will draw you pictures. They won’t be like Peregrine’s.”
“How won’t they be?”
“I draw with crayons. I got a new set for school.”
“You are right. I’ve never seen Peregrine use crayons. If you send me a picture, I will hang it up in my office.”
“Good.”
A women down the table frowned. She got up and went over to where Peregrine’s mother was talking to some other women. Kurt tired to ignore their conversation, but the lady wasn’t very quiet as she told Peregrine’s mother that Kurt was being too friendly with Tinúviel.
“Too friendly? How can he be too friendly?”
The women had a very horrible take of Kurt’s perfectly innocent conversation. Peregrine’s mother laughed. “First Kurt is gay like Peregrine is and second he is family and third if Peregrine and Emil can’t keep him busy in the bedroom then something isn’t right with the world.”
“But—”
“And to assume without any proof that a man is being ‘overfriendly’ is one reason men aren’t allowed to express themselves. Enough children are being abused, we don’t need to start seeing what isn’t there.”
“I thought,” said one of the women. “I heard Peregrine say they were his roommates.”
“That’s just a codeword,” said a forth.
That lady probably saw gay everywhere.
“They do live together,” said Peregrine’s mom, “and know each other in the biblical sense, according to the sheets they dirtied. I’m not blind. But I don’t see what the big deal is.”
“You don’t?”
“They can’t get married here or in their home state, what difference does it make how many of them there are?”
“But the bible says—”
“The bible says that Abraham had two wives and Jacob had five and David had at least eight and Solomon had hundreds.”
“Polygamy is wrong.”
“But like I said, they aren’t married.”
“A bishop, according to Paul, should be a man of just one wife, so early Christians might have had more.” Kurt liked this woman already. Was she one who had spoken earlier? He didn’t want to turn around and look.
“One wife is best.”
“But,” said Peregrine’s mother, “he isn’t a bishop in his church.”
“What church has bishops anyway?”
“That just means leader.”
“Well he isn’t a leader either.”
A woman laughed. “Imagine Peregrine leading anything that didn’t end in trouble.”
“I hear he is a famous painter.”
“Probably infamous.”
“Infamy pays better.”
“So Peregrine is doing his own thing and living a happy, fulfilled life while ignoring conventions. What’s new? Did you try one of Stella’s muffins?”
The conversation turned to muffin recipes and whether wheat germ or oat bran was better. Kurt agreed with the lady who liked the ones that tasted like cupcakes. Kurt threw his plate away. Peregrine’s mom grinned at him. She hadn’t had to stand up for him, but she had. He was one of her children and she would always be in his corner.
--
Peregrine stood up and stretched. Had everything been put away? He could stand a bottle of ice cold water right about now.
“Peregrine.” Greg.
“I heard you were coming down. How is your grandmother?”
“She’s fine.”
“And Jess?”
“Fine as well.”
“Good, good. I need to go find my men.” Maybe Emil knew where the ice water was. The freezer didn’t even have empty ice cube trays in it.
“Peregrine,” Greg pushed the freezer door closed, “that’s who I want to talk to you about.”
Peregrine sighed internally. What was it with this guy? Couldn’t he understand the word no? Maybe Peregrine was being too nice. He sighed aloud. “What is it this time?”
“This time? How can you say that?”
Peregrine decided not to roll his eyes. Antagonizing Greg would make this conversation harder on everyone. “You wanted to say?”
“Peregrine.”
Peregrine already knew his name.
Jess glance in the doorway. Peregrine called her over. “Greg is trying to tell me something, but he can’t seem to get the words out. Do you know what he means?”
“He’s jealous that your men love you and each other so much.”
“Jess, that’s not what I mean at all.”
“Then spit it out.” She took his hand and gazed at him as if he were the best person in the world. Peregrine really admired her. He couldn’t take hours in Greg’s company every day and Greg really did need someone to love him, but he wasn’t going to guilt Peregrine into agreeing that that person was Peregrine.
“I… Peregrine, I… I’ve always loved you and when I see you with… with them…”
This had to be as agonizing to say to as to listen. “Greg, man, you are my friend. That is all you have ever been. Harrison is much closer to being an almost-boyfriend than you are. Yes, I feel sorry for you and what happened to your family, but no, relationships built on pity don’t last.”
“That’s not what I’m asking for!”
Peregrine bit his upper lip and let it slide out from between his teeth. “Then what are you asking for? You have a wonderful woman in Jess here. She one in a million, maybe one in a billion, but that means that there are six other people on God’s green earth that could love you just as well. I’m just not one of them.”
Jess grinned. “I like to think of myself as one in ten billion. Three more billion people would have to be born before anyone as good as me could even think of appearing.”
“Peregrine, you’ve changed.”
“Of course I’ve changed. I’ve grown. I am finally who I was meant to be. Jess, so you’ve never considered adding to you happy little home?”
“Children? No.” Jess laughed.
“Another lover. Male, probably, young definitely. Maybe one of those bartenders you both flirt with?”
Jess smiled. She ran her fingers through Greg’s hair. “You think?”
“I do.”
Greg shook his head. “What are you talking about?”
Jess tucked her arm in his. “Peregrine is matchmaking. What do you think about inviting a boy to our bed?”
“What?”
“Legal, of course. Eighteen or maybe nineteen. Twenty-one if we have to. Maybe we could try out several and find one we like. He would have to adore you as much as I do.” Jess stepped away and took Greg with her. “Do you have a hair color preference? I’m partial to dyed black hair myself. You never know what’s underneath. It’s like a surprise.”
She winked at Peregrine. Had she really never considered finding a man to satisfy Greg in ways he thought only Peregrine could? She didn’t seem adverse to the idea. But Emil walked into the kitchen and grinned and no one else mattered.
--
Emil stretched out on the bed beside Kurt. They had to leave for the airport in an hour. Emil was enjoying the time they had. Peregrine groaned. “I want to go home.”
“Then come home.” Kurt was always so practical.
“But my parents need me.”
“Not all the time. Since we are spending money on airfare every week anyway, I don’t see why you can’t just visit them for a few days and then come home.”
Emil liked that idea. He wanted both men in his bed.
“Emil, darling,” Peregrine lifted a strand of Emil hair off his face. “What do you think?”
“What you really think,” Kurt said, “not what you think he wants to hear.”
“Yes, that. I want you to tell me when you don’t like something.”
As if it were that easy. “The truth?” Emil sighed. “I want you home. I want all of us home. I want to sleep on my own bed that smells like you and me and Kurt and no one else.”
Peregrine nodded. “I agree.”
“But our house isn’t done yet and someone will have to be in charge. I can do that while Kurt is at work and you spend several days a week down here. I just want us to live at home, even if that home is full of dry wall dust and workmen.”
“You would be the best. I’m no good with workmen. And if Jad and Markus can keep Sam around, Mom has people nearby in case of emergency. She calls us boys before she calls Éowen.”
“That probably good for Éowen with her ever-growing family.” Emil had discussed baby names with Harrison. This next one would be either Alatáriel or Celebrían. Emil hoped they stopped having kids before they got to the really weird elf names.
“So that’s settled,” Kurt pulled them both against him. “We’ll call the young architects tomorrow morning. Or maybe tonight. When would we be more likely to get them to answer the phone?”
“I’ll deal with them and call you to set up an appointment. We have to start by cutting a door way between the condos. I don’t want to have to walk in the hall to go between rooms.”
“Keith knows some good contractors.”
“Good. Should we redo the new side first and move into it?”
“As much as I’d like our bedroom and bath, maybe we should live in Rowe’s side and redo the living space first, so we’d have a kitchen.”
“Maybe the contractors would know best.”
“Probably.”
Kurt and Peregrine discussed their condo and what they wanted and didn’t want. Emil piped up when he has an opinion, but mostly he was content to lie in his lovers’ arms. They would be leaving each other, but the time apart would be finite. Their future together was in sight. Emil could hardly wait.