So tired...
Sep. 24th, 2014 02:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
frogs_of_war My aunt's funeral went well. It wasn't a service or anything. It reminded me more of my grandmother's 90th birthday party than a stiff formal event. I wore three-year-old capris and a buttoned shirt that had been bright pink when it was new and I fit right in. But it was still too formal (my aunt had wanted a picnic at the park and this was indoors and catered) for some of the sisters. Three (and their kids) sat it out and one said she wasn't going to come, but showed up halfway through. That was nice for us people who never get to see her. I saw one of my uncles for the first time in about 25 years. I knew who he had to be, but he didn't look like himself. His wife though, looked (from a distance) at 50 exactly how she'd looked at 25.
Everyone pretty much kept to themselves. I have no idea who some of them were. My daughter was slightly annoyed that many people assumed she was me (her hair is close to the color mine was growing up). People said I looked really good, but compared to what?
Be My Queen is finally turned it. I was stressing so much about it and work that I started having panic attacks. Once I figured out what they were, they stopped being scary and were just annoying. I mean, how does this help me get anything done. My pulse would speed up (I felt it in my neck) and my blood pressure would plummet (84/42 once when I was checking. No wonder I was feeling faint even laying down).
Between working 40+ hours a week and editing 76 hours this month and not being able to calm down enough to sleep well, I've been exhausted (I did managed to fall asleep quickly and sleep through the night Monday night. The wholesome feelings lasted about 5 hours into my 10+ hour shift. I need to sleep like that more often.) But now that the editing is done, I need to get ready for the walk through Friday. They will be executives from the company buying our company and may affect which of the two stores in town closes. But since I can't get good help (I've given up trying), every day I get off takes two to get back to how good it was, so I'm not getting ahead. Right now no one can buy the little arrangements ($20 or less) because I don't have any out. I'm supposed to have twenty at all times and thirty to forty is better. So I'm going in early on Thursday and working a 10½ hour day that gets me home in time for dinner.
I just have to hope that anything on my list got done today.
But three weeks from now I'll get at least part-time help (no more paperwork!) and someone else who knows how to design can come back part-time as soon as the HR guy answers my store manager's call.
I just have to get through Homecoming corsage season and then I'll have a breather. The end is in sight.
Everyone pretty much kept to themselves. I have no idea who some of them were. My daughter was slightly annoyed that many people assumed she was me (her hair is close to the color mine was growing up). People said I looked really good, but compared to what?
Be My Queen is finally turned it. I was stressing so much about it and work that I started having panic attacks. Once I figured out what they were, they stopped being scary and were just annoying. I mean, how does this help me get anything done. My pulse would speed up (I felt it in my neck) and my blood pressure would plummet (84/42 once when I was checking. No wonder I was feeling faint even laying down).
Between working 40+ hours a week and editing 76 hours this month and not being able to calm down enough to sleep well, I've been exhausted (I did managed to fall asleep quickly and sleep through the night Monday night. The wholesome feelings lasted about 5 hours into my 10+ hour shift. I need to sleep like that more often.) But now that the editing is done, I need to get ready for the walk through Friday. They will be executives from the company buying our company and may affect which of the two stores in town closes. But since I can't get good help (I've given up trying), every day I get off takes two to get back to how good it was, so I'm not getting ahead. Right now no one can buy the little arrangements ($20 or less) because I don't have any out. I'm supposed to have twenty at all times and thirty to forty is better. So I'm going in early on Thursday and working a 10½ hour day that gets me home in time for dinner.
I just have to hope that anything on my list got done today.
But three weeks from now I'll get at least part-time help (no more paperwork!) and someone else who knows how to design can come back part-time as soon as the HR guy answers my store manager's call.
I just have to get through Homecoming corsage season and then I'll have a breather. The end is in sight.
