Have you ever... [disturbing]
Oct. 1st, 2015 01:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
frogs_of_war A few of the sites I visit have daily (or weekly) lists of things to read. Political, personal, about the world or a place or an incident, so I'm used to following links and reading about stuff I would never have looked for on my own. The article interviewing people who have or have had sugar daddies was interesting as was the one about tampons. The one on being the parents of autistic kids was sad and inspiring. The one about the murder house, I never finished.
Lots of them I don't finish, either because they hurt too much to read, not as interesting as I though, too weird, or I just didn't want to know. But sometimes I click on something I shouldn't have or I read too far and then I can't stop. I knew better than to click on the one about being a human trafficker or the one about poop or any of the ones that the little blurb upsets me with the injustice of it all, but the other day I made the mistake of clicking a link from a book review podcast.
Now, my husband met his aunt for the first time when he was thirty (his parents broke up before he was born). My husband says they sat the same way (legs on the seat next to them) had the same gestures. It was like getting to know someone he'd known all his life. He found it really odd. He was comfortable with her in a way he'd never been with someone he just met. So, I was interested in the weird phenomenon of people having instantaneous deep feelings for family members people haven't seen in years or since birth. Even if some of these feelings were romantic love or lust.
But the link came from the review of Flowers in the Attic. I should have known not to click. The first part (above the gap) mentioned cousins and even siblings who meet as adults, knowing they are related, and felt the pull. A woman was mentioned that felt the pull for the son she gave away at birth (and weirdly they mentioned that he didn't feel the same). I thought the rest of the article would have been about why this happens. Meeting someone you are open to and ready to love unconditionally normally only happens when people are falling in love. Or maybe scientist had other theories. I was wrong.
Now I'm not sure what disturbed me the most. The fact they met knowing they were related. That they had been in contact as parent and child until the woman was five and then by computer for over a year before they met in person as adults. Or that it was father and daughter, the same arrangement as the abuse that happened in my home. The fact he was living with one woman while falling for another is entire incidental.
I really tried to be open minded. They aren't hurting anyone (except each other) and his parents are looking forward to their wedding (not legal of course because even though they are moving to a state when adult incest is legal, they still can't get married). And I don't think their kids will end up with birth defects. Not after only one generation.
The article haunted me and I couldn't sleep that night. I kept trying to make something like that palatable. Could it ever be right? My brain wanted the answer and it wouldn't shut off until I'd fulfilled my obligation to it. I can't remember what I came up with (I don't what to think too hard in case I do remember).
But does this happen to anyone else? Does your mind try to "fix" and reality that's just to horrible to be real? This is the second time in as many weeks that this has happened, but the first time it only took an hour or so to clear the pipes.
Lots of them I don't finish, either because they hurt too much to read, not as interesting as I though, too weird, or I just didn't want to know. But sometimes I click on something I shouldn't have or I read too far and then I can't stop. I knew better than to click on the one about being a human trafficker or the one about poop or any of the ones that the little blurb upsets me with the injustice of it all, but the other day I made the mistake of clicking a link from a book review podcast.
Now, my husband met his aunt for the first time when he was thirty (his parents broke up before he was born). My husband says they sat the same way (legs on the seat next to them) had the same gestures. It was like getting to know someone he'd known all his life. He found it really odd. He was comfortable with her in a way he'd never been with someone he just met. So, I was interested in the weird phenomenon of people having instantaneous deep feelings for family members people haven't seen in years or since birth. Even if some of these feelings were romantic love or lust.
But the link came from the review of Flowers in the Attic. I should have known not to click. The first part (above the gap) mentioned cousins and even siblings who meet as adults, knowing they are related, and felt the pull. A woman was mentioned that felt the pull for the son she gave away at birth (and weirdly they mentioned that he didn't feel the same). I thought the rest of the article would have been about why this happens. Meeting someone you are open to and ready to love unconditionally normally only happens when people are falling in love. Or maybe scientist had other theories. I was wrong.
Now I'm not sure what disturbed me the most. The fact they met knowing they were related. That they had been in contact as parent and child until the woman was five and then by computer for over a year before they met in person as adults. Or that it was father and daughter, the same arrangement as the abuse that happened in my home. The fact he was living with one woman while falling for another is entire incidental.
I really tried to be open minded. They aren't hurting anyone (except each other) and his parents are looking forward to their wedding (not legal of course because even though they are moving to a state when adult incest is legal, they still can't get married). And I don't think their kids will end up with birth defects. Not after only one generation.
The article haunted me and I couldn't sleep that night. I kept trying to make something like that palatable. Could it ever be right? My brain wanted the answer and it wouldn't shut off until I'd fulfilled my obligation to it. I can't remember what I came up with (I don't what to think too hard in case I do remember).
But does this happen to anyone else? Does your mind try to "fix" and reality that's just to horrible to be real? This is the second time in as many weeks that this has happened, but the first time it only took an hour or so to clear the pipes.
