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frogs_of_warLast week, I was feeling yucky and I find that I feel better when I read my stories (most of which I wrote to make myself feel better), but about two-thirds into reading and editing my already printed out version of Are You Together? I discovered it was an old version (it didn’t even have all the chapters), so I printed it out and I’ll have to edit it all over again.
I ended up using over a ream of paper and the end of a toner as I printed out everything that had changed since last time I printed stuff out. Together is 533 pages long and Harmonies sat at 450 pages a few chapters ago.
I have cardstock in lots of different colors and use them for book covers. And I have a big stapler that can staple from 20 to 120 sheets of paper, but only three sizes of staples, the largest of which will go through 90 sheets. So Harmonies is three books long. Part One’s front cover is Emil’s color and its back is Kurt’s, Two is Kurt’s and Peregrine’s, Three is Peregrine’s and Emil’s. These are also my favorite colors.
I like to try to pick a good color for each story (or series of short stories). Some are easy (like Harmonies and a story with leaf in the title — leaf green of course), but some are very hard. After I made the books (and hammered the staple backs flat) my daughter and I sat on my bed with a box of Sharpies and we put the titles and drawings on the covers.
While reading, I discovered that the stories I didn’t post because they were missing something essential weren’t as bad as I remember and the stories I didn’t post because I liked them so much that I wanted to save them for sometime special, aren’t getting any better as my writing improves.
Title: Impossible Dreamer
Series: A Balance of Harmonies (Three)
Status: Chapter sixty-two of many
Genre: m/m romance, drama, city life, businessmen
Rating: R
Content: sketches, wings, a late morning, other nice qualities, love,breakfast lunch, old friends, an invitation, a delay, a very short hour
Length: about 1,800 words
Summary: Kurt hatches an idea. And Peregrine treats Emil to lunch.
Master list
Kurt doodled on his notepad. Chambers was late. Beka and Veronica talked about a mutual friend’s wedding. Zawadzki had slipped away for a snack, which meant a quick snog with Ezra. What was Kurt going to do for Emil? He had an idea for a smaller morning glory vase. He was going to make it tomorrow at Zan’s. He had already ordered the blue flowers to go in it. Raven assured him that he could throw the arrangement together in ten minutes or less. The vase wasn’t going to be ready until Saturday. But that was ok. Emil was getting in late Friday night and Kurt was going to take him right to bed. He wouldn’t even see the kitchen until Saturday.
Except they needed to get up in time to sign the papers. Were bank hours only until noon on Saturday, or was it one? He’d have to find out.
The image on the page turned into a monkey. Kurt added bird wings. The creature looked like an extra from the Wizard of Oz. Kurt checked his pens. They were all black. “Beka? Veronica? Do either of you have a blue pen?”
Beka did. She cooed over the monkey. Veronica offered Kurt a pen set with a dozen colors of ink. “Why don’t you try butterfly or fairy wings next time?”
Kurt grinned. “Great idea.”
He made several different monkeys, each with a different shape of colorful wing. He was no good at still life or exact representations of things that actually existed, but he was pretty good at make believe. Beka and Veronica like the drawings, but they preferred the little monkeys to the more ape like ones.
Kurt took pictures of the drawings on his phone and sent them to Peregrine. He could decide which was most fitting. Now what did a Phoenix look like?
Chambers sauntered in like he wasn’t twenty minutes late and gave Zawadzki a hard time for being a few steps behind him. Had Chambers really gotten that much more annoying in last few weeks or had falling in love mellowed Zawadzki to such a degree that Chambers just looked harsh in comparison?
--
Emil didn’t want to get out of bed. Sam had refused to leave his dad’s hospital room, so Peregrine had gotten a motel room. Sleeping on a real bed felt so nice, even if the bed was almost as hard as the floor and the sheets had been slept on by who knows how many people. Peregrine snuggled closer. “I’m not Kurt.”
Emil smiled. “I know.”
“So I can’t work up the energy for pre-breakfast sex.”
Emil ran his fingers through Peregrine’s hair. “But you come with many other nice qualities.”
“Mom thinks if you love Kurt, you will love me less.”
Emil kissed Peregrine’s head. “She’s crazy.”
Peregrine grinned and rolled against Emil. “She’s worried about me. But she doesn’t have to. I’m crazy about you.”
“That’s good.” Emil kissed Peregrine’s eyebrow. “I’m crazy about you too.”
“Good.”
Many kisses later, Emil settled back on his pillow. “I feel more loved, you know, now that Kurt is with us.” He held Peregrine tight so he’d listen to the end. “Not just Kurt’s love, but yours. I see your love more clearly.”
Peregrine burrowed against him. “You didn’t feel it before?”
“I always knew you loved me. The same way I know the sun is out during a cloudy, wet day. When you paint you are far away.” He hated to hurt Peregrine, but this was the truth. “But now Kurt is there for when you’re not and sometimes you’re with me together and I feel lavished with love. No one is more loved then me. Thank you.”
“Oh, my love.” And Peregrine kissed him like they were stars colliding. They might not make it to the hospital by noon, but there was no rush.
--
Peregrine checked his phone. Several of the monkeys fit aspects of Emil. Peregrine was jealous of Kurt’s ability to pick things out of the air, things that had never happened and things that could never happen. An impossible dreamer was his sleeping dragon. Only Kurt no longer slept.
Emil was asleep again. Peregrine hated to wake him, but he could hear Emil’s stomach grumbling for food. Breakfast time. He checked his clock. Or maybe lunch. Food anyway.
He slid out of bed and hit the shower. When he stepped back into the bedroom, drying his hair, Emil grinned sleepily. “Delicious.”
He had a way of making Peregrine feel sexy. But now was not the time. “I was thinking more on the lines of breakfast.”
Emil sat up and stretched. Peregrine dug through his luggage. Emil was beautiful. But he needed breakfast. A good boyfriend, which Peregrine was trying to be, would make sure Emil ate before feeding the other hunger.
Peregrine pulled on skintight jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt, in black of course, and passed Emil a brightly colored tank top and khaki cargo shorts. He knew just the place to show Emil off.
--
Emil looked over the menu. What was he hungry for? Peregrine knew the waitress and the manager and one of the cooks. He sat down across from Emil, his grin wide. He ordered pancakes for himself and chicken fried steak for Emil. “It’s the specialty.”
He waited until the waitress left. “They all say they know me. I recognize them, the high school was pretty small, but I think I’ve exchanged more words with the three of them today than I did during all four years of high school.”
Peregrine told funny stories about school and the town. Peregrine was more open than he used to be. Emil had found out more of his past in the last few weeks than in the previous six years. Emil hoped he stayed this way.
Several customers came by and talked to Peregrine. He had lots of friends. Or at least acquaintances. Peregrine introduced everyone to Emil and told them that Emil was speaking at the grade school on Friday. Emil hoped no one decided that they needed to come see it.
After each person left, Peregrine told something about them or their siblings or parents. He knew a lot about this town.
A man sat on the seat beside Peregrine without even greeting them first. “Remember me?”
Peregrine looked him over. “Your hair has changed.”
“So has yours. Where is all of it?”
Peregrine smiled. “Emil is growing his out so I won’t have to. It gets in the way of the paint. Emil, this is Tank. We went to high school together.”
Tank put his hand on his heart. “You wound me. I was in love with you for years and I don’t even merit friend?” He turned to Emil. “I had such a crush, or maybe I should say we, because I was one of many. But we all thought Harrison had it in the bag even after he started dating Peregrine’s sister.”
“I told him to.”
Tank pointed at Peregrine. “We knew that and that’s why we thought she was a beard and then he went and got her pregnant and that’s when we were sure you weren’t coming home.” He sighed and smiled at Emil. “You are one lucky man.”
Emil smiled back. “I like to think so.”
“He was out and proud while we were still wondering what our feelings meant. I didn’t come out until after college. My mother blamed it all on Peregrine, but she loves his mother, so she’ll never say anything.”
Emil noticed the ring on Tank’s his left hand. “Are you married?”
Tanks grin got huge. “During the time it was legal. We have two kids and we’re thinking of adding to our family.”
He pulled out a photo and passed it to Peregrine, who showed it to Emil. Two men sat on a picnic blanket with a little girl with braces on her legs and a smaller boy with a scar above his upper lip. Everyone looked happy. Peregrine passed the picture back. “I’d like to meet them before I leave.”
Tank grinned and he leaned back. “I’ll need to consult my other half. How long are you going to be here?”
“Probably for the next several weeks, but Emil has to fly home to sign paperwork over the weekend.”
Tank held up his hand. “Then we’ll wait for Emil. My husband is slightly jealous. Emil, I’ve got so many stories to tell you.”
Peregrine scowled, but Emil could tell he was pleased. Tank smiled like he did too. “I love you, man. I always will. I’ve got to run.”
He waved from the door.
Peregrine put his head in his hands. “I didn’t know he liked me. I just thought he was friendly.”
“Would that have changed anything?”
“No. If Harrison couldn’t sway me to stay, no one else could have.”
That didn’t help Emil’s feelings when it came to Harrison. Time to think about something else. “Your mother’s going to need a ramp on her house?”
“I can pay to have it done or I can fly Meri in or both if I sell a painting, but I’m not sure my family will let me do either.”
Emil put his hand in Peregrine’s. “I’m sure we’ll think of something.”
Peregrine pressed a searing kiss on Emil’s palm. “The motel room is still available.”
Emil stood up. The food had been good, but now he was full of energy. Maybe, if he was lucky, Peregrine would come for him again.
--
Kurt checked his messages on his way home. The realtor had called. Sarah said the paperwork was held up and she wouldn’t get it until Monday at the earliest. Did this mean Emil shouldn’t come home this weekend? Or that they could spend all Saturday in bed?
But he better call his men.
The phone went to voice mail. He forwarded the information and asked what they wanted to do. Then he tossed himself on his couch. He hoped Emil was still coming home.
His phone rang. The call was Emil on Peregrine’s phone. “I was just thinking about you.”
“We were thinking about you,” Peregrine said in the back ground. “Put it on speaker. Kurt, get comfortable. We are naked in bed, waiting for you to tell us where you’ll put your hands.”
Kurt couldn’t get in his room fast enough. A very short hour later, Kurt’s stomach rumbled loud enough the others heard it. Peregrine sighed. “Go eat. Emil will be up late tomorrow, midnight or so. Keep him happy.”
So Emil was coming home. Kurt pulled himself up. He had plans to finish.
I ended up using over a ream of paper and the end of a toner as I printed out everything that had changed since last time I printed stuff out. Together is 533 pages long and Harmonies sat at 450 pages a few chapters ago.
I have cardstock in lots of different colors and use them for book covers. And I have a big stapler that can staple from 20 to 120 sheets of paper, but only three sizes of staples, the largest of which will go through 90 sheets. So Harmonies is three books long. Part One’s front cover is Emil’s color and its back is Kurt’s, Two is Kurt’s and Peregrine’s, Three is Peregrine’s and Emil’s. These are also my favorite colors.
I like to try to pick a good color for each story (or series of short stories). Some are easy (like Harmonies and a story with leaf in the title — leaf green of course), but some are very hard. After I made the books (and hammered the staple backs flat) my daughter and I sat on my bed with a box of Sharpies and we put the titles and drawings on the covers.
While reading, I discovered that the stories I didn’t post because they were missing something essential weren’t as bad as I remember and the stories I didn’t post because I liked them so much that I wanted to save them for sometime special, aren’t getting any better as my writing improves.
Title: Impossible Dreamer
Series: A Balance of Harmonies (Three)
Status: Chapter sixty-two of many
Genre: m/m romance, drama, city life, businessmen
Rating: R
Content: sketches, wings, a late morning, other nice qualities, love,
Length: about 1,800 words
Summary: Kurt hatches an idea. And Peregrine treats Emil to lunch.
Master list
Kurt doodled on his notepad. Chambers was late. Beka and Veronica talked about a mutual friend’s wedding. Zawadzki had slipped away for a snack, which meant a quick snog with Ezra. What was Kurt going to do for Emil? He had an idea for a smaller morning glory vase. He was going to make it tomorrow at Zan’s. He had already ordered the blue flowers to go in it. Raven assured him that he could throw the arrangement together in ten minutes or less. The vase wasn’t going to be ready until Saturday. But that was ok. Emil was getting in late Friday night and Kurt was going to take him right to bed. He wouldn’t even see the kitchen until Saturday.
Except they needed to get up in time to sign the papers. Were bank hours only until noon on Saturday, or was it one? He’d have to find out.
The image on the page turned into a monkey. Kurt added bird wings. The creature looked like an extra from the Wizard of Oz. Kurt checked his pens. They were all black. “Beka? Veronica? Do either of you have a blue pen?”
Beka did. She cooed over the monkey. Veronica offered Kurt a pen set with a dozen colors of ink. “Why don’t you try butterfly or fairy wings next time?”
Kurt grinned. “Great idea.”
He made several different monkeys, each with a different shape of colorful wing. He was no good at still life or exact representations of things that actually existed, but he was pretty good at make believe. Beka and Veronica like the drawings, but they preferred the little monkeys to the more ape like ones.
Kurt took pictures of the drawings on his phone and sent them to Peregrine. He could decide which was most fitting. Now what did a Phoenix look like?
Chambers sauntered in like he wasn’t twenty minutes late and gave Zawadzki a hard time for being a few steps behind him. Had Chambers really gotten that much more annoying in last few weeks or had falling in love mellowed Zawadzki to such a degree that Chambers just looked harsh in comparison?
--
Emil didn’t want to get out of bed. Sam had refused to leave his dad’s hospital room, so Peregrine had gotten a motel room. Sleeping on a real bed felt so nice, even if the bed was almost as hard as the floor and the sheets had been slept on by who knows how many people. Peregrine snuggled closer. “I’m not Kurt.”
Emil smiled. “I know.”
“So I can’t work up the energy for pre-breakfast sex.”
Emil ran his fingers through Peregrine’s hair. “But you come with many other nice qualities.”
“Mom thinks if you love Kurt, you will love me less.”
Emil kissed Peregrine’s head. “She’s crazy.”
Peregrine grinned and rolled against Emil. “She’s worried about me. But she doesn’t have to. I’m crazy about you.”
“That’s good.” Emil kissed Peregrine’s eyebrow. “I’m crazy about you too.”
“Good.”
Many kisses later, Emil settled back on his pillow. “I feel more loved, you know, now that Kurt is with us.” He held Peregrine tight so he’d listen to the end. “Not just Kurt’s love, but yours. I see your love more clearly.”
Peregrine burrowed against him. “You didn’t feel it before?”
“I always knew you loved me. The same way I know the sun is out during a cloudy, wet day. When you paint you are far away.” He hated to hurt Peregrine, but this was the truth. “But now Kurt is there for when you’re not and sometimes you’re with me together and I feel lavished with love. No one is more loved then me. Thank you.”
“Oh, my love.” And Peregrine kissed him like they were stars colliding. They might not make it to the hospital by noon, but there was no rush.
--
Peregrine checked his phone. Several of the monkeys fit aspects of Emil. Peregrine was jealous of Kurt’s ability to pick things out of the air, things that had never happened and things that could never happen. An impossible dreamer was his sleeping dragon. Only Kurt no longer slept.
Emil was asleep again. Peregrine hated to wake him, but he could hear Emil’s stomach grumbling for food. Breakfast time. He checked his clock. Or maybe lunch. Food anyway.
He slid out of bed and hit the shower. When he stepped back into the bedroom, drying his hair, Emil grinned sleepily. “Delicious.”
He had a way of making Peregrine feel sexy. But now was not the time. “I was thinking more on the lines of breakfast.”
Emil sat up and stretched. Peregrine dug through his luggage. Emil was beautiful. But he needed breakfast. A good boyfriend, which Peregrine was trying to be, would make sure Emil ate before feeding the other hunger.
Peregrine pulled on skintight jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt, in black of course, and passed Emil a brightly colored tank top and khaki cargo shorts. He knew just the place to show Emil off.
--
Emil looked over the menu. What was he hungry for? Peregrine knew the waitress and the manager and one of the cooks. He sat down across from Emil, his grin wide. He ordered pancakes for himself and chicken fried steak for Emil. “It’s the specialty.”
He waited until the waitress left. “They all say they know me. I recognize them, the high school was pretty small, but I think I’ve exchanged more words with the three of them today than I did during all four years of high school.”
Peregrine told funny stories about school and the town. Peregrine was more open than he used to be. Emil had found out more of his past in the last few weeks than in the previous six years. Emil hoped he stayed this way.
Several customers came by and talked to Peregrine. He had lots of friends. Or at least acquaintances. Peregrine introduced everyone to Emil and told them that Emil was speaking at the grade school on Friday. Emil hoped no one decided that they needed to come see it.
After each person left, Peregrine told something about them or their siblings or parents. He knew a lot about this town.
A man sat on the seat beside Peregrine without even greeting them first. “Remember me?”
Peregrine looked him over. “Your hair has changed.”
“So has yours. Where is all of it?”
Peregrine smiled. “Emil is growing his out so I won’t have to. It gets in the way of the paint. Emil, this is Tank. We went to high school together.”
Tank put his hand on his heart. “You wound me. I was in love with you for years and I don’t even merit friend?” He turned to Emil. “I had such a crush, or maybe I should say we, because I was one of many. But we all thought Harrison had it in the bag even after he started dating Peregrine’s sister.”
“I told him to.”
Tank pointed at Peregrine. “We knew that and that’s why we thought she was a beard and then he went and got her pregnant and that’s when we were sure you weren’t coming home.” He sighed and smiled at Emil. “You are one lucky man.”
Emil smiled back. “I like to think so.”
“He was out and proud while we were still wondering what our feelings meant. I didn’t come out until after college. My mother blamed it all on Peregrine, but she loves his mother, so she’ll never say anything.”
Emil noticed the ring on Tank’s his left hand. “Are you married?”
Tanks grin got huge. “During the time it was legal. We have two kids and we’re thinking of adding to our family.”
He pulled out a photo and passed it to Peregrine, who showed it to Emil. Two men sat on a picnic blanket with a little girl with braces on her legs and a smaller boy with a scar above his upper lip. Everyone looked happy. Peregrine passed the picture back. “I’d like to meet them before I leave.”
Tank grinned and he leaned back. “I’ll need to consult my other half. How long are you going to be here?”
“Probably for the next several weeks, but Emil has to fly home to sign paperwork over the weekend.”
Tank held up his hand. “Then we’ll wait for Emil. My husband is slightly jealous. Emil, I’ve got so many stories to tell you.”
Peregrine scowled, but Emil could tell he was pleased. Tank smiled like he did too. “I love you, man. I always will. I’ve got to run.”
He waved from the door.
Peregrine put his head in his hands. “I didn’t know he liked me. I just thought he was friendly.”
“Would that have changed anything?”
“No. If Harrison couldn’t sway me to stay, no one else could have.”
That didn’t help Emil’s feelings when it came to Harrison. Time to think about something else. “Your mother’s going to need a ramp on her house?”
“I can pay to have it done or I can fly Meri in or both if I sell a painting, but I’m not sure my family will let me do either.”
Emil put his hand in Peregrine’s. “I’m sure we’ll think of something.”
Peregrine pressed a searing kiss on Emil’s palm. “The motel room is still available.”
Emil stood up. The food had been good, but now he was full of energy. Maybe, if he was lucky, Peregrine would come for him again.
--
Kurt checked his messages on his way home. The realtor had called. Sarah said the paperwork was held up and she wouldn’t get it until Monday at the earliest. Did this mean Emil shouldn’t come home this weekend? Or that they could spend all Saturday in bed?
But he better call his men.
The phone went to voice mail. He forwarded the information and asked what they wanted to do. Then he tossed himself on his couch. He hoped Emil was still coming home.
His phone rang. The call was Emil on Peregrine’s phone. “I was just thinking about you.”
“We were thinking about you,” Peregrine said in the back ground. “Put it on speaker. Kurt, get comfortable. We are naked in bed, waiting for you to tell us where you’ll put your hands.”
Kurt couldn’t get in his room fast enough. A very short hour later, Kurt’s stomach rumbled loud enough the others heard it. Peregrine sighed. “Go eat. Emil will be up late tomorrow, midnight or so. Keep him happy.”
So Emil was coming home. Kurt pulled himself up. He had plans to finish.
