A Balance of Harmonies: Sharing

[frogs_of_war]

I’m reading body language books (only half way through the first one) to help define Kurt’s father for his story (I want him to be able to read people — except the man he loves) and I’m finding the action tags ( “[quote]” K stroked E’s neck) easier to write.

Of course last time I read one of these books (about gestures when people are attracted to each other), I read Havemercy by Jaida Jones and Danielle Bennet (which I recommend) right afterward. One character uses all the body language to show that he’s in love with an arrogant bastard, who turns out to be his long lost older brother. Later my daughter read that originally the two were going to be a couple, but two gay couples were one too many for someone. But Thom spends the sequels being just as in love with his brother.


Title: Sharing
Series: A Balance of Harmonies (Three)
Status: Chapter one hundred thirty-three of gobs
Genre: m/m romance, drama, city life, businessmen
Rating: R
Content: exhaustions, worry, rings, an idea, feast, dread, pain, comfort, insight, waking, painting, incorrigibleness, a promise
Length: about 2,200 words
Summary: Emil listen. Peregrine hurts in an effort to help. And Kurt coaxes Peregrine into bed.

Master list


Emil pulled the cover over his head. He was not walking up. The bed shifted and Kurt’s alarm went quiet. Then Kurt’s arm wrapped around Emil.

“Good morning, Beautiful.” Kurt’s hand moved down Emil’s leg.

Maybe waking up wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Emil could always go back to sleep afterward. Kurt’s hand moved up under his shirt. Emil hummed and wiggled closer.

But Kurt kept his hands away from Emil’s sensitive places. Emil rolled onto his back and looked at Kurt. “Something wrong?”

“Not wrong. I just…” Kurt sighed.

Emil sat up and blinked the sleep from his eyes. He’d need all his wits about him if something was the matter.

Kurt curled up and put his head in Emil’s lap. “I had this idea for something and the time never seemed right, but then I did it anyway, but you were asleep and… I’m afraid I might have hurt you but that wasn’t my intention.”

Kurt was so cute insecure. Emil ran his fingers through Kurt’s hair. Kurt would never intentionally hurt him. But Kurt must be really worried if he hadn’t waited until after morning sex to talk about it. Emil ran his fingers down Kurt’s neck. “Ready to share?”

Kurt took his hand and kissed it. “I love you.”

Emil laughed. “You better tell me quick. I’m starting to worry.”

“I… you know how I’ve been thinking about rings.”

Emil had caught Kurt looking through an ad a few weeks ago. “You wanted us to have them, but didn’t think Peregrine would wear one.”

Kurt turned and looked up at Emil. “Would you? Would you wear one?”

Emil rubbed the base of his left ring finger with the fingers of his right hand. “Like I said, I’d wear one even if you and Peregrine went for some other form of jewelry. As long as we were all wearing something.”

Kurt sat up. “That’s what I was thinking too. Different forms of jewelry. But then I thought about going home for Christmas and how wearing a ring would simplify things tremendously. People would assume I was married and not just married in my heart.”

He was adorable. Emil straddled him and kissed his cheek. “I’m married to you and Peregrine in my heart too.”

Kurt’s hands slipped under Emil’s shirt, but he still didn’t go any further. Emil rested his arms along Kurt’s and laced his fingers together behind Kurt’s neck. “But this has you worried.”

“I… I asked Peregrine to wear a ring or bracelet or earring or anything last night before we went to bed. I wanted to wait until we were all together.”

“What did he say?”

“He said he’s wear my ring.” Kurt looked up. “But it would really be our ring, unless we each got different jewelry for the three of us.”

Emil kissed Kurt’s cheek. “That’s a great idea. We could each design something. Autumn has a friend who makes rings and stuff.”

Kurt looked down again. Emil had given the wrong answer.

Emil touched their foreheads together. “But the rings would be our wedding rings and proclaim our bond to the world.”

Then he tipped up Kurt’s face and kissed him. If Kurt wasn’t going to take the initiative this morning, Emil would have to, because Kurt was not getting out of bed until Emil had tasted him. No, until Emil had feasted.

--

Peregrine waved goodbye to Hunter and Olivia. She’s wanted to spend the whole Sunday with Peregrine, but he had things to discuss with his men and didn’t want children present. But Olivia was never unhappy for long. Willow had promised to make Olivia’s favorite dessert, but only if Olivia helped. As soon as Kurt’s car was out of sight, she’d be in the kitchen, washing her hands.

Kurt pulled away from the curb. Peregrine studied him. Was this conversation a good idea while Kurt was driving? Peregrine had plans for once they got home, now that the kids were back home. Zan and Autumn should be gone by now too.

“Did you miss your phone last night?”

Kurt chuckled. “I hid it in the closet and then it was sitting by the bed this morning, with the alarm reset. I don’t know the last time I slept in till eight.”

“I thought you’d need the extra sleep.”

“When did you wake up? Or did you sleep at all.”

“I slept.” Only he’d woken up at five worried about this very conversation. How to tell Kurt without all those negative emotions his father felt? Kurt didn’t need to know about them. “I talked to your mother last night. I guess it vibrated off a shelf and interrupted one of Dakota and Tyler’s trysts.”

Kurt laughed. “They brought it to you?”

“And I talked to your mom.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“I know. But I wanted her to leave you alone, if just for one night.” The holidays couldn’t be over fast enough. She hadn’t called him once between the time Kurt moved in with them and November, at least Kurt hadn’t mentioned it. Maybe after the holidays she’d leave him alone again.

Kurt sighed. “What did she want?”

“You to bow to her ever whim.”

Kurt puffed out his cheeks and slowly let out the breath. “Why can’t she just want to share family gossip and hear my voice? She always has a motive.”

Peregrine put his hand on Kurt’s thigh. “I’m sorry.”

Kurt sighed again. “At least this way I can delete all the missed calls and voicemails. She just wants me there on the twenty-third, right?”

“I believe.”

Kurt pulled onto the freeway. Less than ten minutes from home. Peregrine needed to get down to the meat of the issue. “She had your dad call.”

Kurt glanced at Peregrine then looked back at the road. “He actually called?”

“He loves you.”

“He said that?”

“He said he was a horrible father.”

Kurt pressed his lips together.

“His problem is with your mother not with you.”

Kurt blinked and swallowed hard. “That’s not the way it felt.”

Maybe talking in the car wasn’t such a great idea. “Do you want to grab some coffee on the way home?”

Kurt sucked in a deep breath. “Maybe that would be a good idea.”

They pulled off at the next off ramp. Coffee shops weren’t that hard to find. Kurt chose a drive up and got a huge mocha with plenty of cream and sugar. Peregrine got the smallest, plainest one the place had. Then Kurt pulled into the strip mall parking lot next door. “Tell me.”

“Your parents…” Why couldn’t he figure out a painless way to say this? “Your parents aren’t on the best of terms.”

Kurt nodded and took a long drink.

“It’s been this way since before you were born.”

“It’s because I don’t look anything like my dad’s family.”

Poor little Kurt, hearing hurtful comments every time the families got together. “Before that. Your father… he’s had a… really difficult time fulfilling marital obligations.”

Kurt held up a hand. “Do I really need to hear this?”

Peregrine ran his hands down his thighs. Half a story was worse than none at all. “I just… He moved out of your mom’s room months before you were born.”

“How many?”

Kurt’s dad hadn’t actually said. “Around nine.”

“So I might be his.”

“You are his. In his heart if not genetically.”

“So you say.” Kurt pressed his hand on Peregrine’s. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just never felt loved.”

Peregrine set his other hand over Kurt’s. “I can’t tell you if something a truth or a lie. I can only relate what he told me. He has a hard time looking at you without recounting the anger and humiliation he went through the night you were conceived. She wouldn’t let him put it off and pressured him into taking a pill when he couldn’t perform.”

Kurt held a hand over his eyes. “I don’t want to hear this.”

Peregrine didn’t want to be the one saying it. Maybe it shouldn’t have been said at all, but if Kurt had an ally in his father, the painful past shouldn’t be allowed to keep them apart. “He cried.”

“She raped him.”

“He cried that he’s been a lousy father. That he couldn’t just forget that night and go on. That he’s been in love with someone else for decades, that he will never get to be with.”

Kurt snorted. “And he thinks my mother may have strayed.”

“I don’t think he has either. He comes off as a jerk. I was ready to write him off as an uncaring wretch. But I kept talking to him.”

“You feel sorry for him.”

Peregrine sighed. “I’ve always had a soft spot for the weak. He’s lived sixty years under the thumb of others, mostly family by the sound of it.”

“My father is not weak.”

“He is. He’s coated his weakness is a shell of callousness. But did he ever step between you and your mother when she was imposing her will on you?”

Kurt looked down at his cup and took another long swig. He set the cup on his leg. The nearby light turned green and the waiting cars moved on.

“He could have been pulling my leg, but he seemed sincere. He wants you to be happy. He’s proud of your work at the shelter.”

“He knows about that?”

“He seemed to. But your mother doesn’t.”

“Maybe Clara told him.”

“If she trusts him, maybe you could.”

Kurt shook his head. “Clara has always been closer to my parents than me. She looks just like Dad’s family.”

“Just because you’re sibling doesn’t mean you were raised the same way.” The shelter was full of kids whose brothers and sisters lived safely in the house they ran from.

Kurt stared out the window. The cars slowed and stopped at the light. “Who is he in love with?”

“His wife’s sister’s husband. I don’t know what sister.”

“Uncle Jake? But he and dad were always so guarded around each… oh. I can’t believe I didn’t see it.”

“He didn’t want anyone to see it: your mother, your family, him.”

“Uncle Jake gave me the best art supplies. He told me to follow my dreams. I thought…” Kurt sighed. “I thought he was just goading my father.”

“Your dad has no reason to believe your uncle has any feelings for him.”

“No, no. Uncle Jake always made sure my dad was around when he talked to me about art. I thought it was to annoy my dad, but now… he was showing his love. If Dad wanted me to be an artist, too. I’ll ask him.”

Peregrine put his hand on Kurt’s thigh. “I love you.”

“Thanks.” Kurt’s huge hand covered Peregrine’s.

The weight of the conversation was finally off his shoulders. “Now let’s get home to Emil. I have some plans.”

Kurt laughed. “I can’t wait.”

Peregrine leaned back in his seat as Kurt pull into traffic. He would have to make sure the plans were extra special for his two wonderful men.

--

Kurt woke up and rolled into someone. Emil. Kurt opened his eyes. Emil breathed slowly. He was beautiful asleep. They had worn him out. He and Peregrine had worn Kurt out too.

Peregrine stood by his easel at the end of the bed. “You look like you’re deciding whether to wake him up.”

“If I did, would you join us?” The afternoon had been terrific, but Kurt was always ready for seconds. Or in this case fifths.

“Not this time. Once I’ve finished this maybe.”

How close was he to done? Would getting up wake Emil? Once Emil was awake, would he get up and start dinner? Or would he cuddle with Kurt for a while longer? Kurt placed his hand on Emil’s chest. If Emil woke up, Kurt wanted more than just a cuddle. “Maybe would should get take out.”

“I think we have some leftovers.”

“But if we eat leftovers, one of us will have to heat them.”

“If we get take out, one of us will have to get it.”

“We need food delivered. Who delivers here?”

“You really are incorrigible.”

“Thank you.” Kurt ran his hand down Emil’s side. “You two are irresistible. I feel no shame in giving in.”

Peregrine laughed. “Good. I’ve got the two of you here and I’m trying to decide if I should paint you or touch you some more.”

As much as Kurt loved Peregrine’s paintings, he would always take the second choice. Besides… “I’ll be gone for days. You can paint then.”

Peregrine looked up with his head cocked to the side. “You might be right.”

He set down his brush. “But first I’ll get someone to bring us some grub. You’ll be starving by the time I’m done with you.”

Kurt grinned. He would take that as a promise.